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Showing posts from November, 2017

SKO-SKO

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One night while I was awake listening to the tales of the mosquitoes and the wooing of the female frogs by the male frogs while the crickets chirped, I realized that I was sick. I have known this since, but  tonight's  re-realization seemed like an annunciation. I felt, perhaps how Mary felt when the Angel Gabriel announced to her that she was to bear the savior of the world. She, just as I now, knew without doubt that the message wasn't fallacious.  "I'll make sweet love to you" I heard one of the male frogs say. "I'll give you greener and bigger children", said the other.  I didn't take my time to know what lines the other male frogs dropped as my attention was diverted to the mosquitoes.  "Let's go over to that room, they don't have nets there. We'll be sure to suck to our satisfaction."  "Ahhh. You don't know what you're saying o. My cousin's nephew's step sister died there yesterday. They no

THE OTHER WOMAN

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Because of the other woman. You pulled the curtains down, The moon suddenly seemed too bright for you, The stars too curious And the breeze too occupying Because of the other woman, You forget those days you waited eagerly for night, now you pray for dawn always so you can take your flight through crowded highways Because of the other woman, I have become to you, an unripe udara , lacking in taste and brightness, as ugly as the ‘ ajagara-igwe’ your grandfather left you. as ice without cream. Because of you, The fire which burned within me, Now burns by the end of my cigarette. but this I promise, I shall pick myself up and I shall rise.

DESIDERATA

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This is, perhaps, my favorite poem of all time so I thought to share. If you savor each sentence while reading, you may know why. Desiderata BY MAX EHRMAN Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time. Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals; and everywhere life is full of

TGIF

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“We look good together." I wanted to ask if f**k boys have a school they all attend, or if, as a matter of convenience, a 'words-to-say-to-get-the-jar- open' manual was in circulation. But I didn't. "You're the prettiest girl I know." You continued. "Eziokwu." I said to myself.  "I could be doing something totally unrelated to you and you pop into my head. "Osheyyy pin-pop" (within me). "I'm serious. I know you think I'm prevaricating. Ask Philip, my neighbour. Just the other day..." "It's ok. I believe you." I said with a tagged smile to cut you short, and at the same time wondering how I got myself in this mess. Which one is pre-whatever again! Williams was better. Although he was a f**k boy, he didn't speak too much English.  Where did I install this problem from? I asked myself. O! Pekas. *sighs* So one  Friday  my friends and I wanted to hangout (TGIF).  We decided to go to Pe

DERIVING JOY ENTERTAINMENT: GETTING IT ALL WRONG.

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DERIVING JOY ENTERTAINMENT PRESENTS- CUPID STORIES 2. THEME: GETTING IT ALL WRONG. _the event is quite simple, it is an evening of meet and greet, wine and dine, screen the for president movie and all episodes of kendrick, watch spoken words from DATI, And tunes from dj salvatore, and fresh materials from Chime! Only 50 people, Only 50!_ ⛱ *CUPID STORIES 2017*  _"Getting It All Wrong"_ #GIAW DATE:Saturday, 25TH NOVEMBER 2017 TIME: 4PM PROPMT VENUE: UNIVERSITY OF NIGERIA, NSUKKA PROGRAM FOR THE DAY: | MOVIE /COMEDY /SPOKEN WORD | *Featuring:* _CHIMEFRANCIS_, _The Niel_, _2tinzcomedian_, _DATI_ , _STINBLAZE_ , _FRANK D_ , _NWALI_ , _JOSÉ (IROBOT)_  *TICKET:* _#1000_ *CUPID STORIES 2 – CHIMEFRANCIS | Powered By @DerivingJoyTV, 2017* *POWERED* *BY:*   _* www.chimefrancis.com.ng *_ _*@DERIVINGJOYTV*_ *SPONSORS* _NemyCraft_ _Blades Of Gold Saloon_ _Proleehvya_ _NEWLAND_ Follow On Instagram *@chimefrancislive KINDLY NOTE: TICKETS WILL NOT BE SOLD AT THE VENUE.

SLEEP DISORDER

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Have you ever, upon waking or falling asleep, tried to move your body but could not? Perhaps upon waking, the only part of your body you could move are your eyes (which you may not be able to open but can feel). You feel conscious of your environment and perhaps conscious of the presence of someone else in the room (when there may be no one else really). This other presence moves from one part of the room to another, says somethings which you do not recall when you finally gain control over your voluntary muscles and tries to suffocate you at some point. El.o.el. Calm down. Ok! Perhaps this is not exactly what you experienced, or you experienced worse. Either ways what you may have experienced is medically termed ‘sleep paralysis’, not ‘your village members are at work’. This article is titled ‘Sleep Paralysis’ and will be, ephemerally, discussing the definition and types of sleep paralysis. It is important to note that sleep paralysis is a sleep disorder and is sometimes a sympto

ONYINYE

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With my legs crossed and tilted at sixty degrees to the wooden wall, all I could see were the frames of Jesus and Mary hanging around the room. The ceiling fan was helplessly blowing hot air. The junction boxes were all exposed and some wires dangled with a calculated simple harmonic motion. I could not understand why the micro wave never worked despite been repaired severally. I will sure have a cold bath since the electric kettle gave up on me few weeks ago. Things were actually not in place as supposed. If they were, I am sure my clothes will not be found all over this room. My wrist watch facing back up and my shoes all over the floor with each housing some smelly socks. This is the feature of a room which hopes to house a girl on a date. I remembered when I will arrange my room to every pin and pen. Permit it to wear a sensual face and bless every molecule of the air around it with my favorite fragrance- Aqva 212. I would arrange the bed, gas the AC and fuel the gen. I mus

DRESS TO IMPRESS

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I know. I know. it is the middle of the week and I should have told you this on Sunday against Monday, or on Monday. But it's not late, you've got other weeks ahead in your life. Here are some fashion tips (for the guys mainly). We may not all afford the known designers but we shall always look good on the affordable. All you have to factor in are: ·         Match your cuff links with your tie ·         Don’t sag your chain watch to a hand watch, it’s still a wrist watch. ·         Match your shoes to your belt. Black is generic, brown is unique. ·         Adjust your tie centrally and make the knot as small as possible. Hope we are clear on this. Have a beautiful week.

ANDRE PIRLO OFFICIALLY ANNOUNCES HIS RETIREMENT FROM FOOTBALL

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According to a tweet shared by Andre Pirlo, the legendary midfielder will be retiring from football. Read the tweet below: "Last match in MLS. As my time in NYFC comes to an end I would like to say few words.I want to thank everybody for the kindness and support they have shown me in this incredible city.Thank you to the amazing supporters, thank you to the coaching staff and everybody that work behind the scene, thank you to my teammates. "Not only my adventure in NY comes to an end but my journey as a football player as well, that is why I would like to take the opportunity to thank my family and my children for the support and love they always give me, very team that I had the had the honor (sic) to play for, every teammate I have been pleased to play alongside, all the people that made my career such incredible and last but not the least, all the fans around the world that always showed me support. You will always be on my side and in my heart."  Andre, befor

DEPRESSION

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DEPRESSION has become a regular word in our (Nigerian) environment. Hitherto, depression was labeled a 'white-man sickness'. I had friends and colleagues who said it is almost impossible for an African in Africa to be depressed as a result of the African social structure. They do not say this anymore. Did the structure change? It did. Is it the cause of the increased level of depression among (African) people? Not totally. The African social system was/is a caring one. One which everybody was involved in the other persons life. Sorrow and happiness was shared collectively. The collective nature of Africans is reflected in a phrase repeatedly used in J.S. Mbiti's African Religions and Philosophy- "I am because we are, and since we are, therefore I am." Nowadays, people care less in the African society. Unhealthy competition is the order of the day. There's less love and more hate. One cannot even share a problem without adding to his or her problems. It is

STORY: VOLTE-FACE

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B. Every night I conjured you till I fell asleep. I conjured your face, every single detail. The perfect arches of your lips which gave it its love shape. The way your cheeks flushed whenever I called you 'her royal sexiness'. I conjured your eyebrows too. Those little bushes that grew so fast no matter how often I carved them. I conjured your eyes which looked like two drops of coffee in a cup of milk. Your nose, with its big nostrils that looked like they wanted to suck up all the air in the room. I conjured you till you became tangible. A. We met at what is supposed to be the  Students' Union Building of the University of Nigeria, Nsukka; but is better known for the restaurants and shops littered in and around it. In fact just few people knew what its initial- SUB stood for. “I don't know why I keep coming here to spend my money on stale food and people with uncouth manners”, you complain aloud, more like to yourself.  I think to myself: this one is speaki

ADVERT: 3GENTERPRISE

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SPORTS: "MONSTROUS" MESSI TO ENTER BARCA'S '600 CLUB'.

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Lionel Messi will celebrate his 600th start for Barcelona on Saturday in what his manager Ernesto Valverde hails as “a monstrous” achievement. The five-time Ballon d’Or winner becomes only the third player to reach the milestone for the Catalan club after ex-playmaker Xavi Hernandez (767 appearances) and the current captain Andres Iniesta (642). In his 599 games since 2004 the 30-year-old Argentine legend has scored 523 goals all competitions to be the club’s all time top scorer and the top scorer in La Liga with 360. “It’s monstrous, 600 matches for the same club, with all the goals he’s scored, and all those assists, with all his vivacity,” marveled  Valverde at the eve-of-match press conference on Friday. “You run out of adjectives to describe Messi’s journey. It shows his importance to this club. “To reach 600 games, that’s an awful lot of games! It’s extraordinary, like everything he does. “It’s not only that he’s appearing for the 600th time, it’s the way he’s pl