UNOFFICIAL GIRL
"It's the hiding and fear of the unexpected that makes our relationship fun; i ma go(you know), more lively." Chief said when I tried to convince him for the umpteenth time to make me his second wife, at least, since he cannot send his wife packing.
"I'm tired of being unofficial. Of having to be hid all the time." I replied.
"You own my heart, body and soul. She owns nothing. I haven't sent her packing or married you because I don't want her to commit suicide. She's sensitive like that."
I said the last sentence with him because it was his regular line. So many times I left, but came back more often than I left.
"So you'll keep locking me up in the wardrobe anytime she comes in earlier than usual or forcing me into the trunk of your car like you did the last time, ee?
"The trunk-episode happened just once na baby."
Baby. Truly he had every right to call me that, after all his last daughter is about my age.
"El.o.el! How romantic of you to give it a name. Trunk-episode really."
"I don't know why you're being too sensitive and taking things personal this night." Chief said.
"Why won't I take it personal? Ee chief. Give me one reason I shouldn't." My voice was already high.
"Is it more money you want? I could arrange something extra."
"I'm talking love, you're talking money chief. Is everything about money to you."
"Nne rapu ife a hu. If I was broke would you have dumped your boyfriend for me? Or be begging to be my wife? Money is everything nne."
I was dumbfounded.
"So you think I left my boyfriend because of your money, e kwa?"
"O nwere ife ozo? Any other thing?"
"Chief I'm done with this relationship and I mean it this time!" I shouted.
I couldn't believe all the nonsense I just heard.
"Biko drop the iPhone 8 I just bought for you before leaving. You can keep the money I just transferred to you as independence gift."
I removed my sim and dropped the phone.
"Useless paedophile", I whispered while leaving the room.
"Gold-digging gerontophile." He shouted.
I wondered where he learnt that word from. The next week I saw him picking another girl from my hostel. She was holding an iPhone 8. The same iPhone 8 he got for me.
Image: Andre Pirlo
Nice! I like it. Hehe
ReplyDeleteThank you very much Buchi.
DeleteHehehehehehehe. Yeye girl. Good she ended it anyway, cos who knows what would have happened next
ReplyDeleteAbi o. Thanks for reading and dropping a comment.
DeleteEl..o..el niceeeeeπππ
ReplyDeleteBeautiful piece... Hilarious
ReplyDeleteThanks dear. I am glad it made you laugh
DeleteHahahahaha!
ReplyDeleteChief! Chief!
Lol. Chief chief indeed.
DeleteAnd my head is bursting ryt now... El.o.el
ReplyDeleteEl.o.el
Deletethe girl sha, was she actually falling in love with a fat belly chief? (the usual view)
ReplyDeletesometimes I really wonder what lov really is sha(maybe you could write on that)
meanwhile the igbo chief is a sharp man πππ
LOL. Your kinda person na. When I feel equipped, I will write about love. Grins
DeleteHaha!! Nice pice!
ReplyDeleteThanks Obi!
DeleteShe's selfish, from side chick to wife. Story
ReplyDelete