CHRYSANTHEMUM




I asked the florist for chrysanthemum, just for the sake of asking. I knew she wouldn't have them. I needed a little more time to make up my mind on the flowers to get Tobi. 

"We don't have those ma'am", she answered.

"Of course", I whispered.
"Do you have daisies or roses?" I asked.
"Yes ma'am."

"I'll go with those then."
She went in to get them. Not before trying to convince me to try some other flower.

"Smell these, they are lovely and its fragrance lasts longer than roses" she said. 

I think she took the hint that I wasn't interested when she moved on.

"What flower would you like to be if you were one?" Tobi asked me once.

"A rose or daisy." I answered.
I needed him to understand that I was bringing myself to him in flowers to apologize. That was why I went for roses and daisies. 

"Here you go ma'am. Kindly patronize us again." The florist said as she handed me the flowers. 

"Thanks." I said with a plastic smile, at the same time reminding myself that I'm a typical Nigerian girl and had to apply my 'oyibo' knowledge only because it was called for. In other words, I wouldn't be patronizing a florist,until my wedding of course, because most Nigerians do not believe in the potency of flowers as gifts or anything for that matter.

The roses didn't have the fragrance I expected. I had imagined they would smell like Rose powder. The powder my mother usually bathed me with,when I was younger, after bathing me with soap and water at night.


There were litters of roses and daisies on the floor of the parlour. I let myself in as the door was unlocked. There were litters of boxers, two pairs, and socks too. These litters led to the room. I made to pick them up, not until it became clear to me that the sounds I heard earlier were moans. Like the sound people make when having sex!


I opened the door. That very moment, for the first time, I understood clearly what Tobi meant when he said he wasn't like most other guys. I understood why he liked to play Dido and Kendrick Lamar's 'Let us Move on' whenever we were together, although I insisted Gloria Estefan's 'Wrapped' was a better song for lovers. I understood why it was justifiable in some situations, like this one, to commit suicide. I believed at that time that not all things could be explained as mere coincidence, for why else would Dido's 'My Lover's gone' be the first song to play as I turned on the radio this morning?

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