MY S-EX.

Nota bene, I do not intend for this to be an autobiography of my stay in school, but it will unavoidably be so. This write-up encapsulates my experience as a student in the University of Nigeria, Nsukka; both the good and bad experiences with some advice to the younger ones on how to make it through the den. I am in no way imposing my advice on anyone or declaring it the only solution to the problems I faced, remember different strokes for different folks.

I became a lioness in 2013. I know one may expect me to say it was the happiest day of my life, but no. Don’t get me wrong, I was very happy but at the same time confused. I was going to face a life totally different from what I have known and experienced all my life. So I can say I was scared as well. To make matters worse, I did not know anybody at all in this school. So the true meaning of a den was to be experienced by me. My first few weeks in school were strength draining, having to run around from Ekpo Ref to the former Students Affairs Center located beside St. Peter’s Chaplaincy to my hostel for clearance. I tell you most solemnly it was not funny at all. As if that was not enough I was in Combined Social Sciences.

Being in Combined Social Sciences meant this- you have to attend almost all the lectures offered by first year students in the faculty. You would also do all the assignments. This is your fate until you are given your combination. You had to attend them all because you did not know what combination would be given to you and no lecturer would take you through the lectures you missed, except out of the person’s magnanimity which was rare. Your plight becomes less unbearable by just one notch. This is because you have to do assignments from both departments, often times in cases where more than one lecturer handles a course, as many lecturers as there are give assignments, term papers and seminar topics which you have to, of course, present. You have to plead often that your clashing timetables be rescheduled, which is usually hard because both lecturers feel equally important so one adjusting his/ her timetable will automatically reduce the person’s worth. When exam timetable is published, you have to beg again if the timetables released by the two departments you are offering their courses are clashing or if there won’t be ample time to prepare for the exams because the time or date intervals are not favorable. Your woes are not over onne m/ nna m. The number of courses to be offered by combined social scientists are usually more. Thus while your colleagues majoring in just one department have to prepare for, let me say, 7 courses, you have to prepare for more. Your timetable is not the same remember, and no one cares so no one will give you a different timetable from others. Even if anyone cares, the school calendar made no provision to accommodate such discrepancies. Then after your exams you have to worry about how your scripts will be marked. There is this common belief that CSS students are often marked less favorably that students who major in one department. I wish I could say that was a fallacious statement. This is however with exception to a few lecturers who give you what you merit not minding your department. Dues! You, as a CSS student have pay dues to both the department you are majoring in and your departmental association. Yet you are often disenfranchised in the major department. I am not trying to make it seem like the case of CSS students are worse, that is an established fact.

My second year was more bearable. I had friends and I understood the system better. My most clueless year was my third year,umunne m na Christi (my siblings in Christ). ‘A ga na kwa ije a?’ was the question I repeatedly asked myself. I did not understand most of the courses I took. Time seemed so short. I just did not have the zeal to study and even when I did, the materials seemed drab to me. Did I contemplate dropping out? It crossed my mind a couple of times, but I knew I would not. I had gone too far to give up. I also had to eliminate such thinking to avoid people thinking they were chasing me from my village or my parents getting hypertensive over me. As if that was not enough, I lost my brother who was the only person I could comfortably speak to concerning how I truly felt without fear of being judged or scolded.

My final year mere m vaam n’anya. Let me explain. My final year went fiam. One minute I felt I had ample time for my project and studies, the next minute I had to rush my project. Every day of my final year I constantly reminded myself that this is my final year in this school so I had to live every moment of it. I went for hangouts and get together more often, made new friends, shed off some, like old skin. Participated more actively in the theater group I joined in my second year and studied harder. While trying to have as much fun as I could get, I constantly reminded myself that I could not spoil within months what I had fought so hard to achieve over three years. So I studied hard.

Coming to this school, I had only one primary purpose- to read my eyes out and make a first class. I was a bit anti-social in my first year. I do not even know how I succeeded in making friends then. Gradually, I had to look around me and I asked, ‘why settle for less when you can have more?’ So I became more open to friendship. It made life much easier as I had people to talk to when I felt ‘depressed’. I also had people to feed me when I got broke and hungry as I had fed them when they were in a similar situation. That way I combated hunger and sorrow. I did not loose my focus however. I still knew what I wanted, even if I wanted to forget I could not because my family called almost every week to remind me of what I went to school to do. So I chose my friends to fit my plan. I shed off people who I felt did not have the same or similar plans as I did when I could not get them to share my vision. To help my social life, I joined Federation Theater, the social organ of NFCS, UNN chapter. By joining them, I used one stone to kill three birds- I got to serve God through my talent, develop my talent and make new friends.

On roommates- fortunately for me, most of my roommates from my first to final year were accommodating. Except in my second year when I had one who, because of where I come from, disliked me. I totally ignored that one when I realized she was a lost cause. My other room mates were awesome. Some of them have become my close friends even after changing rooms and hostels. To stay with total strangers, two things are essential- understanding them and tolerating them. It may take long to finally understand someone, mostly when the person lives a lifestyle totally different from yours. However, for peace to reign and to give people the room to understand you too, you have to. When you eventually do, you will be glad you did. Trust me. If the person proves a hard case or if the person’s ways eludes you it is better to ignore the person and stay out of the person’s way than to be imposing. The person will eventually come around. If the person does not, you can say ‘o well, I tried my best’. Always try first to understand your roommates. Some may seem taciturn. Try still. You don’t know their story. Try, don’t force.

On time being insufficient- Time management is not over-rated. On the contrary, it is under-rated. I had to make timetables for my daily life, that way I knew and was constantly reminded of what I had to accomplish for the day. So even if I wanted tojonse, I had to regulate the jonsing. I also tried to do my assignments as early as possible. Procrastination was often a problem, honestly, and I often had to fight it. The more reason I made timetables.

On friends- have a vision first. Know what you truly want with life so you will know the kind of friends to keep. It is not bad to cut off people from your life, however do not cut them off rudely.

On social gatherings- be selective on the type of hangouts you attend. I understand you want to be the life of the party and win most popular or most social student on campus. Nsogbu adiro. Just remember that the reason precious stones are invaluable is because they are scarce.

On lectures and learning- do your best to attend all lectures. It is not ‘cool’ to miss lectures. It is your money, you should give your money its value by utilizing it. If utilizing your money does not motivate you, those lecturers who set test the very day you decide not to come to class should motivate you. Also some lecturers prefer to set what they taught verbally in class over what is contained in your lecture handouts or text book. Having a complete note does not make you less of a big boy or big girl. Actually, that is the real cool. Aside what you are taught in class, learn new things. That is the only way you can keep up with the world. Learn educational things and be able to engage in intelligent conversations. You cannot dull in that aspect as a lot of persons are now forming sapio-sexual. Also calculate your G.P. every semester, it helps you know how much harder you must work to attain your goal

On politics- if you are still asking why Nigeria is so corrupt engage in school politics. This is where you will understand that little drops of water makes the mighty ocean. It all started from somewhere. Politics in the University of Nigeria, Nsukka is only a microcosm of Nigerian politics and verily verily I say unto you, if you are in it for the right reasons, you will be either frustrated or unhappy or both. Both most likely because you will be looking at the behavior of future leaders and you very convinced beyond reasonable doubt that Nigeria is not going to be better even when the young ones take over. My advice; engage in the politics all the same. You may be that minority that is about to make a major change.

On money- I am sure by now you know that money is hard to come by. Be diligent in your spending. Be able to account for every dime spent. Never borrow just to feel among or buy something fancy. Do not buy things because others are buying if it will affect you. Do not lend money you cannot let go should the person decide not to pay back. I learnt this the hard way.

So you have been reading and saw God only once and you thought perhaps I am not the churchy type. I saved the best for the last dear reader. God is someone you have to have a personal relationship with before you can value Him. If you have never doubted God, then it may be hard to truly have a good relationship with Him. I doubted God a couple of times. There were times I felt so alone. Even family and friends could not help my situation then. I doubted God. It helped me. I did not go to church or pray for days. This feeling came in sessions, like an asthma attack. So sometimes my I did not go to church for weeks. So when my friends tell me they do not believe God truly exists, I just smile inwardly because I know it is better to discover Him yourself than rely on what people preach to you about which is often cliché.

Some say school is not for everyone, I agree. But as the saying goes, ‘what is worth doing is worth doing well. Now you are in school, make the very best out of it. Graduate with a good result, nobody wants to know why you failed. Even you, yourself does not want to know.

My stay in this school is over, I have restored my dignity, do well to restore yours too dearly beloved.

The title stands for my School Experience. An alternative title will read, "SURVIVING STUDENTS’ LIFE AT UNN." I wanted to keep your attention. *smiles*
Do well to drop some advice for those still in school, what you did not like about your school (Lion/lioness or not) and your experiences generally.